Surfin’ USA

Not for nothin’, as they say out east, but look out for the maxi slope on the bottoms of the bathtubs of some hotel chains. I was in the shower this morning, minding my own business, when I suddenly began to hydroplane toward the faucet end of the tub! My bottom half surfing to the rear, my top half elected to snap to attention and fly into reverse as well, in some mad effort to right the whole ship and ride the World’s Smallest Water Slide to its conclusion. Regrettably, such catlike reflexes only served to wrench my Princess and the Pea back and neck. Migraine pain had begun the morning at a low. I have successfully raised it several notches. However, I both saved my rear end from a terrible slamming to the tub bottom, and my teeth from a disastrous bashing into the back shower surround. “Kudos, madam,” you now compliment me, “on this fine display of agility and intellectual acuity!” Very astute of you, Friendly Reader. I work well under pressure. Well, not my chronic migraine disease. I’m now at an 8.

Oh, how I long for this trip to end.