Who You Gonna Call?

Posted: January 9, 2014 in Family, Health, Humor, Migraine, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Image by OpenClips 2013, via Pixabay


Do you believe in ghosts, Friendly Reader? I do. I’ve had too many experiences to disbelieve.

The other night, I walked into the front bathroom. As I was…in there…I noticed the rectangular bath mat at my feet, moving. Not sliding along the floor, but up and down. It almost appeared to be…breathing. The thought of a breathing bath mat, even a soft, fuzzy, beige one, had me frozen with my mouth agape. Mentally, I was asking, “What the h***?”

My heart was racing, I noticed, and as I finished my business, I reached out with one foot to nudge the rug with my toes. Had I not been wearing shoes, I might not’ve been so brave. The toe of my shoe pushed down on the mat as it was “inhaling” and thus seemingly inflated. I was a little afraid of what would happen. As I pushed, the mat collapsed, with a small woosh of warm air blown from beneath it. When the air wooshed out, the sides of the rug lifted a tiny bit, just long enough for the air to to escape, but also just long enough for me to see it.

Underneath the rug, the source of the terrifying breath, the creepy life source of my bath mat…was a heater vent. OH MY GOSH! How could I be such an idiot, Friendly? I guess the one positive I can take away from this embarrassing situation is that I was the only one there. Nobody witnessed my shocking stupidity. But I’m surprised Mr ReloVertigo didn’t notice a big hand print on my face from the violent facepalming I gave myself.

Which brings up a whole other issue. Did anyone ever tell you that there is a correlation between the ratio of hand-to-face size, and the development of cancer? Somebody told me that one time. Of course, I right away lifted my hand a few inches away from my face, wondering what that had to do with anything. Of course, I didn’t need to facepalm myself. The other person did that for me. Hard. There really is nothing quite like being tricked into holding your own hand up so that the trickster can smack you in your own face with it. No, nothing quite like it.

Except maybe thinking you have a haunted bath mat.

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