My Stars!

Posted: March 22, 2014 in Health, Humor, Marriage, Migraine, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

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Are you a believer in astrology? That’s the study of the planets and constellations, their positions in relation to one another, and how those all affect your life and personality because of when and where you were born. A lot of people seem to place quite an emphasis on their own daily horoscopes. Reading a daily horoscope in the paper, well…just read mine.

I’m a Sagittarius. For Saturday, 3/22/14: Put your efforts into being creative. You may find that lectures or travel will be highly successful. Try not to lose your cool, and make your point known.

Vague, anyone? For one thing, I’m the least creative person on earth. I can’t even lie with a straight face. I was the teenager who got busted for everything she ever did. But I like that next sentence. “You may find that lectures or travel will be highly successful.” Lectures OR travel. Either way. Because only a person born between November twenty-third and December twenty-first is going to have those two options. On the same day. What if I want to travel to give a lecture? Is one going to go badly, while the other is wildly successful? I don’t want to be a raving success at the seminar, only to crash and burn on the way home! Or, what if I want to lecture my husband about his predilection for dropping his coat wherever he’s standing when he takes it off? Does that count? Because I would really like for that to be a successful endeavor. I can’t tell you how happy that would make me.

Image by Jaeyeon via Pixabay

I Would Be This Happy

Now, the last sentence partially fits. “Try not to lose your cool, and make your point known.” Never am I unable to make my point known. At all times, everyone in the vicinity is clear on where I stand about whatever issue is at hand. As I told a friend today, I don’t think I’ve ever been told I need to talk more. But trying not to lose my cool? Now, that is an issue that really should be addressed. I can be a hothead. Just today, my dad texted me, telling me to take a Valium. I don’t have any Valium. I should probably talk to my doctor.

And then there are all of these images going around Facebook, purporting to boil down the personalities of each zodiac sign to its basest form. Through various of these, I have learned that as a Sagittarius, I am the meanest, most selfish, most conniving, and most likely to be a killer of all of the signs. Gee, it’s really a wonder I haven’t done hard time by now.

No, I don’t think I believe in astrology.

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