Hear This!

Posted: June 1, 2014 in Family, Humor, Marriage, Migraine, Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , ,

Sometimes, I get the feeling Mr ReloVertigo would prefer to be doing something exciting like gutting fish, rather than listening to my stories. Just this morning I was attempting to relate to him a fascinating account of how current events intersected with my views on certain foreign social and criminal policies. I know, riveting, right?

Me: Honey, remember when I told you the other night about [outrageous condition in some country a million miles away]?

Husband stops in his tracks, about 3 feet (1 meter) from the back door.

The Husband: Yeah.

The Husband is clearly not appropriately engaged in this conversation. Undeterred, I continue.

Me: Well, later that day, there was a news item about [yet another incident of continuing outrage upon my delicate sensibilities]!

The Husband begins to creep sideways toward the door.

The Husband: Uh huh?

Me: Yeah! And I saw pictures of [incredibly unbeLIEVable occurrences that should probably require both of us to immediately fly to another continent and commence solving world problems]!

The Husband’s hand slowly reaches out for the doorknob.

The Husband: Huh.

I realize my spouse is attempting escape, and rather than let him run free, I decide to get the rest of the story out quicker.

Me: Andanywaytherewasaprotestand…

He begins to turn the knob. I question whether he is even listening. Before I even finish my sentence, I simply stop talking.

Me: (sudden silence) Ok.

The Husband: Ok.

He opens and walks out the door!

I guess that answered my question. He wasn’t listening. He was so anxious to get away, he was almost trying not to do the Pee-Pee Dance!

Have I told you I love my husband?

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