Archive for the ‘Fashion’ Category

 

Take one look at this lovely 1920’s cloche hat I found on the vintage fashion blog OMG that dress!

1920's Cloche Hat

Cloche Hat, 1920s, The Goldstein Museum of Design
Image via OMG that dress!

It can’t be just me that thinks George Lucas or someone in costume design for Star Wars Episode IV, must surely have seen this hat before giving Carrie Fisher those cinnamon bun hairpieces!

Image via Wookieepedia, the STAR WARS Wiki

I bought this pink hoodie while I was out of town and had forgotten I may need something besides shorts and a T-shirt. I loved the pink and the solid color. The lack of ornamentation. The quality of the fabric was a nice change, too. I snapped it up, and was out of the store.

Wouldn’t you know, I for some reason didn’t actually put the jacket on until I got back home? I don’t know why, but once I did get the jacket out of the bag, I realized that I’d been in such a hurry, I had never looked at the back. The cause for said realization? A great big, iron-on transfer in the form of a hee-YOU-ge sparkly silver crown, on the lower back. Studded with rhinestones. Oh. My. Gosh. If I put this sucker on, I was going to be walking around looking like those dumb chicks who wear “JUICY” all over their butts. Gross. Take my word for it, Friendly Reader, I am too old to declare my alleged level of juiciness. Certain aspects of this blogger’s self should remain a mystery. Even to me.

Arriving at the drug store tonight, suddenly unable to force myself to exit my car without a jacket, I checked the backseat. What to my wondering eyes did appear? A hot pink jacket with a giant silver crown. Glorious. I didn’t have another option. I grabbed it and threw it on. As I walked into the drug store, I tried to forget about my blingy rear view, and gave thanks for the lack of other shoppers.

I wanted to pull up the hood and pull the strings tight, to conceal my face, á la Kenny of South Park fame. There are two problems with that. #1 – I’d look like a moron. #2 – I’d look like I was about to rob the place. With a big, pink and silver, blingy butt. So I bit the bullet and ran my cart through the store. Good cardio. Somehow, I managed to do my shopping with no comments about my wardrobe, and completed my shopping list with my dignity intact. Hold the juice.

THE RELOVERTIGO PROMISE*
On my honor, I will try:
To shop carefully and thoughtfully,
To consider the potential for the ugly ornamentation of ladies’ garments at all times,
And to never wear a garment which would embarrass Daughter ReloVertigo, should she obtain knowledge of said garment. Especially if such garment requires any painful flesh squeezing, fear of crevice exposure, or danger of surpassing the maximum stress load on the fibers. Risking YouTube views of a sudden pants explosion would be a violation of The Promise.
*Based loosely upon the Girl Scout Promise