Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Sometimes, I get the feeling Mr ReloVertigo would prefer to be doing something exciting like gutting fish, rather than listening to my stories. Just this morning I was attempting to relate to him a fascinating account of how current events intersected with my views on certain foreign social and criminal policies. I know, riveting, right? (more…)

Coffee Spill

Image by OpenClips via Pixabay

Thank you so much to the awesome barista at Starbucks tonight who filled my venti mocha super duper POOPER full, and didn’t put a green stick in the cap. I didn’t notice that, of course. Until, that is, I felt the unwelcome heat splashing all over my hand, arm, leg, and as I noticed, my phone. Much love to Mr. Relovertigo, who loves to drive my Zoom Zoom at death defying speeds around corners and over bumps. And, of course, I had no napkins.

The Husband’s advice? “Use your shirt!”

My extraordinarily mature response? “Shut up! Use your shirt!”

I should go back and use the BARISTA’S shirt.

 

Take one look at this lovely 1920’s cloche hat I found on the vintage fashion blog OMG that dress!

1920's Cloche Hat

Cloche Hat, 1920s, The Goldstein Museum of Design
Image via OMG that dress!

It can’t be just me that thinks George Lucas or someone in costume design for Star Wars Episode IV, must surely have seen this hat before giving Carrie Fisher those cinnamon bun hairpieces!

Image via Wookieepedia, the STAR WARS Wiki

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This chronic migraine disease is boring holes into my brain, I swear. Giant holes where the smart falls out.

What I heard: …Now, with more of the blood you love!
Me: Yes, because I do love the blood. So much you have to say it like, “Bluuuuud,” to really express the love of the blood. What the frack is going on? WHO loves blood?

What it said: …Now, with more of the stuff you love!
Me: Oh. Ok, then. Carry on.

The smart? It is falling out as we speak, Friendly Reader. Giant chunks.

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I keep my house cool because heat aggravates my migraine pain. But when it’s so cool in my house that my fingers are frozen, and I’m beginning to worry that my cats need sweaters, it might be time to turn up the heat.

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I’m having a bad head week. So, today I’ll keep it short. I’m lying in pain, in the dark, in bed right now. Appreciating the fact that I put fresh sheets on the bed.

Is there anything more comforting in your home than clean, fresh sheets?

What is a comforting smell to you?

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Are you a believer in astrology? That’s the study of the planets and constellations, their positions in relation to one another, and how those all affect your life and personality because of when and where you were born. A lot of people seem to place quite an emphasis on their own daily horoscopes. Reading a daily horoscope in the paper, well…just read mine.

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When was the last time you thought to yourself that you really rocked? That the chick/dude/chickendude over there was totally checkin’ you out? (more…)

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Something I shouldn’t have to say to another human:
“Stop! The cat doesn’t like you to lick her!”

Of course, what else am I going to say, when I look up and see Baby ReloVertigo grasping the cat, mouth wide open, tongue hanging out in anticipation of running it across Smelly Cat’s (our female cat) bunny-soft fur? She never scratches or bites him, but she tries like heck to run. Which is difficult, when someone has part of her tail in one hand, and the end of her tail in his mouth.

Something else I shouldn’t have to say to another human:
“No! That food is for the cats! Spit that out!”

But have I any other choice? I can’t exactly tell Junior and Fiancée that I’ve placed their progeny on the BLUE Wilderness high protein, grain-free, chicken-formula diet.

To avoid all this irritating lecturing, Baby has developed a new, hassle-free method of mischief making. He smiles big, raises his hand, waving at me, and forges ahead with the forbidden activity. Right in front of my face. My guess is that he thinks the smile is disarming, and the wave is a distraction. Once I’m disarmed and distracted, he is free to go about his business unhampered by nosy Nana.

Is it just me, or does this Baby have a career in politics ahead of him?

It hurts to type. Before I got on the road today, I gassed up the car. I then pulled up to the convenience store to buy a soda. I am incapable of road tripping without a giant icy beverage at my side.

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