Posts Tagged ‘Baby’

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Something I shouldn’t have to say to another human:
“Stop! The cat doesn’t like you to lick her!”

Of course, what else am I going to say, when I look up and see Baby ReloVertigo grasping the cat, mouth wide open, tongue hanging out in anticipation of running it across Smelly Cat’s (our female cat) bunny-soft fur? She never scratches or bites him, but she tries like heck to run. Which is difficult, when someone has part of her tail in one hand, and the end of her tail in his mouth.

Something else I shouldn’t have to say to another human:
“No! That food is for the cats! Spit that out!”

But have I any other choice? I can’t exactly tell Junior and Fiancée that I’ve placed their progeny on the BLUE Wilderness high protein, grain-free, chicken-formula diet.

To avoid all this irritating lecturing, Baby has developed a new, hassle-free method of mischief making. He smiles big, raises his hand, waving at me, and forges ahead with the forbidden activity. Right in front of my face. My guess is that he thinks the smile is disarming, and the wave is a distraction. Once I’m disarmed and distracted, he is free to go about his business unhampered by nosy Nana.

Is it just me, or does this Baby have a career in politics ahead of him?

JuxtapositionBaby ReloVertigo is juxtaposed with a life-sized Michael Jordan cardboard cutout. This former marketing piece has been used in my family since the 1990’s to mark off children’s growth. Particularly startling to me is the comparison between Baby’s head size and Jordan’s hand size, just above Baby’s head, holding a ball. The greatest basketball player of all time is enormous, close up. Measured against a tiny little boy, he becomes a giant not only in the sports world and in my heart.

Image by ReloVertigo 2013

Image by ReloVertigo 2013

Never trust a toddler. They’re so disarming, with their poofy-diaper-booty waddling, and their baby talk. It’s all a cleverly conceived ruse to lull you into a state of complacency. Do not buy it.

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